Category Archives: Real Life

No Resolutions, Please

The new year is nearly upon us – isn’t it exciting?

It’s time to sit down and list out our resolutions, just in time to forget all about them by March and continue with all of our old, bad habits.

“I’m going to lose 10 pounds and catch myself a man next year!”

Or not.

But wait – with the combination of Cosmopolitan magazine and society’s judging eyes staring me down, don’t I need to lose that 10 pounds? Don’t I know that I’m not a complete person without a man?

This is why I hate resolutions: they like to pander to society’s overbearing judgement of what we should be, who we should be, and how we should look. And, frankly, that’s crap.

When I look at the new year, I want to set achievable goals to be a better me. The better me that I define for myself. The goals I set shouldn’t be limited to the next 12 months – they should permeate my being and push me to grow and thrive.

It’s not about losing 10 pounds – it’s about being aware of my body, of the nutrients I put into it, the activities I undertake with it, and making a point to take care of the only body I get in this life. (But, yes, it sure would be nice to fit into a size 4 again – thanks Cosmo.)

It’s not about finding a man. It’s about being a good person and a great friend. It’s about going out of my way to ensure the people I care about know how amazing and special they are. It’s about not being a hermit, and not being afraid of going out and making new connections. It’s about putting myself out there into the world and trusting that when the right people  come along, they’ll see my merits and my flaws and love me for them. It’s about being open to new possibilities and taking a chance on someone new.

It’s about grounding myself and reorienting my perspective. Being a complete, autonomous person, secure and happy in myself for being myself.

It’s about reconnecting with the joys of art and creativity. For it is through creative pursuits that the heart, the mind, and the soul truly give themselves to the world.

It’s about learning and growing and adapting constantly.

And, just a bit, it’s about saying “Fuck you, Cosmo. I am beautiful as I am, and so is every other girl you try to shame with your Photoshopped covers and dieting tips. I have better things to do with my life than listen to you.”

Me &

Me (trying on a dress): What do you think?

K: Where would you even wear that?

Me: Oh, wherever, it just needs a nice pair of purple wings.

T: Like, fairy wings?

Me: Yup. When in doubt, just add wings.

Happy Christmas…

…if you celebrate Christmas that is. Blessed Yule to those of you celebrating yule. Merry Solstice again to you solstice goers. Happy Hanukkah (rather late, sorry!) to those of you who celebrated that. Anyone doing Kwanzaa? Hope it’s great for you. If you celebrate something I’ve missed, I hope it was fabulous. If you don’t celebrate anything, well, I hope that you’re having an amazing time regardless.

My point, in case it was too subtle, is that if you’re reading this (and, frankly, even if you’re not), I hope that life, the universe, and any spiritual leanings of your choosing are treating you well this winter season. I hope that you are having an amazing time with family and friends. And I hope that you know that you are a wonderful person and you are loved. Even if no one has mentioned that to you lately.

Happy holidays, everyone. Cheers.

Merry Solstice

Winter begins today and the season turns to snow and ice and quiet nights. It’s been a long time since I took a look at myself from a spiritual perspective… and now, as the year winds down and the world ices over, I think that it may be a good time to consider my place in the world.

As I turn the page to complete one chapter of my life, I find that the next seems to have already begun, with new people and new plots and even a bit of a new perspective popping up, faster than I could have imagined or hoped for just a few short weeks ago. What a wonderful thing it is to connect with good friends, new and old, and to look to the future with anticipation and excitement. How wonderful to have space in one’s own head and to finally feel grounded and to know which turns I wish to take on the path ahead.

I hope that the change of season brings with it positive changes for all, and that, as the new year unfolds before us, it will be bright and full of possibilities.

Wait-wait-waiting… or not?

So… you know how when you have furniture delivered, they give you a two or four hour window during which you sit around, waiting, hoping that the nice delivery folks actually show up before the end of that period? Well, I had a very strange delivery experience today.

Background: I ordered bookshelves (from IKEA) last week and a variety of other furniture for my new apartment at the end of November, both scheduled for delivery today. My delivery window from IKEA was 12:00-4:00pm. My delivery window for my sofa/dining set, etc. was 4:30-7:00pm.

So I opted to work from home and be home all day to babysit delivery folks. *sigh*

But here’s the thing… my deliveries came early – both of them.

The nice folks from IKEA showed up at 10:45am, that’s right over an hour before their designated window. I’m lucky I had cleared the room out the night before to have room for my 17 boxes of bookshelves.

So I’m thinking, ‘Ok, so I can chill out for a few hours and work before the rest of my furniture shows up,’ right?


I get a call around 11:30am from the other delivery folks, “We’re ahead of schedule – we’ll be there between 2:00-3:00pm, is that ok?” Um – yes, that’ll be just fine. They arrived about 10 minutes before 2:00pm. (About half an hour after I finish clearing out the room and maneuvering the boxes of bookshelves out of the way.)

So, my seven hour delivery window turned into an approximately 3 hour window of things actually being delivered very efficiently by very friendly folks. Strangely pleasant. Plus, no being stuck at home for an extra four hours. Sounds like a win to me.

Color Me Dazzled

Out with JS tonight, who took me to Dazzle.

Having never been to a Jazz club before, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. (I never really got into jazz when I was doing classical music in my youth.) We saw an organ trio (organ, guitar, and drums) and it was fantastic. The musicians were excellent, the music itself was bright and, dare I say, cheerful – quite the change from my typical Gothic/EDM selections, the atmosphere was lovely, and the food was to die for.

In short, highly recommended. If you have the opportunity: go.

My Friend, the Internet

I have long preferred to hold my human interactions in person, where one can see the other person, hear a voice, observe nonverbal cues, etc.. I have held the belief that one creates stronger connections in person, and that the interactions are somehow better face-to-face, and that email is terribly impersonal means of communication.

Well, this theory of human interaction works great when you meet new people in person, say through a mutual friend, or at work, or at a local event, or what have you. But what if you meet someone online? Sure, you can probably arrange to meet in person at some point, but what if that’s not an option for an extended period of time? What if the person you’ve met is really far away (like 7000+ miles away, for example)? Does that connection intrinsically have less value than one made in person?

Having recently taken advantage of the vast networks of the Internet to reach out and attempt to make new connections, I must report that no, a connection made entirely online, need not be dismissed as impersonal or… I don’t know… less valuable than any other connection. Having now made no fewer than two great connections online, one of which holds no opportunity for a face-to-face meeting for several months, I found myself first surprised at the depth of connection that I had found in each new person through online communication, and later surprised that I had assumed that no (or less) depth would be found there.

We all know the folly of making assumptions, and I am quite pleased to set this assumption straight. Besides, as someone who places such value in the written word, who considers her own communication most effective when written rather than spoken, well, as such a person, I simply should have known better.

That said, I have found it very fulfilling to connect verbally with my new connections on an intellectual, philosophical, and/or emotional level. I wonder if some of my existing relationships wouldn’t benefit from the addition of more verbal communication…

Now, being a fan of the written word, I often send cards and notes to friends in the post, but, while full of tangible, emotional connection, cards and the like often fail to create an ongoing dialogue. (Those of you accustomed to receiving said cards and such needn’t worry, they will still be sent!) But perhaps there would be an added benefit to beginning an email dialogue as well, as I’ve recently discovered how well that medium works to inspire ongoing discussions.