On Authenticity

Every now and again, someone tells me that I am intimidating. Not physically, mind you; after all, I’m about as physically intimidating as an angry kumquat. But, intimidating nonetheless.

I wonder, sometimes, if this comes from the fact that I tend to be (and try to be) a very straightforward, honest person. I do my best to be kind, but I also don’t pull any punches when I’m speaking with people. Mostly because I just can’t stand the whole read-between-the-lines social facade that most people insist on hiding behind.

Because I am many things, but I am no stereotypical “delicate flower” no matter how many floral dresses I wear. I am nobody’s princess, or baby, or doll, or whatever. I’m not looking for someone to save me, or take care of me, or pay my way.

I’m just me. Looking for someone to connect with.

It’s funny, I’ve gone on a few first dates this week, and I’ve mentioned in conversation that I try to live by a specific idea:

Modesty is wasted on your doctor.

After a few raised eyebrows, I explain. Hiding your body from your doctor, whose job is very specifically to observe and understand your body. Rather ineffective, no?

On a wider scale, it means that as much as I default to being a very private person, well versed in the skills of evading personal questions and carrying on a friendly conversation in which I reveal almost nothing relevant about myself, there are some situations in which that’s exceptionally ineffective. Like, say, dating.

So I don’t put up much pretense on a first date. I’m looking for someone who likes me – the me that I am, not the me that I think they might maybe want me to mold myself into. I happen to think that I’m a pretty swell lady, some of the fellas even seem to agree.

Needless to say, this strategy weeds out a lot of potential suitors.

On the other hand, the one’s who are still interested after meeting my fairly uncensored self, well, they at least know what they’re signing up for.

I had a particularly pleasant first date this past weekend.
Very honest.
Very authentic.
Very… unexpected (those of you following my adventures regularly may recall a Tai Chi class for which I was rather unprepared…)

It’s funny, the way the stars align sometimes. Just this week, my favorite not-a-real-doctor posted an article on authenticity and dating. Way to be on point with my life Nerdlove.